Children pick up on everything. I mean everything. So as a parent, I give thought to things that I never really cared about before. For example, I was showing my mom some photos of Muffin that I had taken last week. We were all standing in my office, Muffin on her Mimi's hip. After seeing a photo of herself with Muffin and Santa, my mom says "Oh my gosh, I am so fat!" That really made me think...
As women, we are all guilty at times of this- me especially. We see thin models with perfect skin and hair and somehow feel like we should all look like this. It is stupid and unrealistic. I am going to really focus on modeling a positive body image for Muffin from now on. It would absolutely break my heart if I ever heard her say "Oh my gosh, I am so fat!" I want her to know that no matter what her outward appearance is, she can be comfortable in her own skin.
Modeling a positive body image is something that will truly be a challenge for me. Six months after having her, I am within 5 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight. But I wanted to lose 15 lbs before I got pregnant. I have a two 6 inch areas on the front of my belly that have stretch marks. My belly still has lots of extra chub on it. My breasts aren't small anymore and I miss that.
I am going to work on accepting these things about my new body.
Unlike my triathlete husband, I have been unwilling up to this point to make the sacrifices necessary to get down to my "ideal" size. I love my sweets. Seriously, if I pass on a brownie, it is because I am ill. I don't like going to the gym and I will truly find every excuse not to go. And if I can't think of a good excuse, I will just tell the truth and say "I don't feel like it!" I tried to start running and then had some major problems with my hip (related to my pregnancy and scoliosis, I think.) I do periodically go to a class at the gym with my sister and I enjoy going... once I am actually there. Actually getting the energy to go is another story, hence the word periodically. I am really looking forward to the spring when I can take Muffin for walks because I enjoy it and it will help me slim down too.
It is not my intention to make a crazy New Years Resolution to get back into a size four. I just want to work on something that I want for my daughter-- I want to be comfortable in my own skin so I can show her that she can be comfortable in her own skin. I will not say negative things about my body anymore and I will try to control my internal dialogue about my body. This body has served me well and created a beautiful life. I am thankful for that miracle.
If you are having the same issues, I advise you to take a look at this website: The Shape of a Mother.
How have you dealt with the changes of your body after having children? What do you do to model a positive body image?
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Beautiful Jess :) Your muffin is such a blessed little girl. And this is so true- girls totally pick up on how their mothers act toward outward appearance, eating habits, self confidence, etc. A woman at my work was just talking about how her teenage daughter has lost about 20 lbs. in like 3 months. I said, "Don't you think this is more than just an effect of when she got sick for a few days? Do you think she's obsessed with losing weight now and is purposely not eating- even though she's over the illness?" And she said "Oh definitely. But she's seen me do the same thing for years, so I can't really say anything." Seriously??? It made me so sad that she was more concerned with being able to focus on her own vanity than to do something to help her daughter!!! And that she didn't even seem to care that her super bizarre eating habits and her unhealthy relationship with food (b/c the woman seriously has a problem) were rubbing off on her kid! I love reading your blog and seeing how you're taking intentional steps to do what you can to protect your daughter in areas that are so important. Love you! (Oh, and I love that you say that you only pass on a brownie if you're sick lol :) I'm the exact same!)
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