Saturday, June 26, 2010

Corporal Punishment

Over dinner last night some friends and I had a short discussion on corporal punishment. It was a short conversation because this is a sensitive subject, especially because I love my friends and we don't share the same opinions on this topic.

Here's the scoop on the subject: As a parent, I see something very wrong with hitting a child in order to express your disagreement with something they have done or said. I am hitting you because you hit Johnny and you shouldn't do that. I am hitting you because you are whining/ throwing a fit (you fill in the blank) and this is not a good time or place. Hitting a child simply does not teach them long term discipline, respect or empathy for others. See this article on Gentle Discipline for some alternative ideas to teach discipline that avoid corporal punishment.

Read this article on Undermining General Beliefs about Corporal Punishment. This was linked from the API (Attachment Parenting International) Blog and it reflects my thoughts exactly.

And to address the whole spare the rod spoil the child nonsense that is often used as an excuse to hit your children... shepherds didn't use the rod to beat their sheep - and children are certainly more valuable than sheep. I am by no means an expert on the bible but what I do know is that Jesus preached gentleness, love, and understanding.

With all this being said, I have realized over the past year of parenting our little Muffin that sometimes the rules/ ideas that we think will be best just don't end up working for us. I truly cannot think of a scenario where I would feel like Yes, this is a good reason to hit my child. Hitting her will really teach her a lesson.

In parenting, I've learned never say never. I guess that means I can say with 99.9% certainty that I will never use corporal punishment.

What are your thoughts on the subject?

1 comment:

  1. In our home, spanking does nothing but teach our children that it is ok to hit when they are mad. Now that Drew is four, I will admit that I have swatted his bottom a time or two but never anything more than that. Of those few times - no good came from me hitting him. He was only more mad and I believe that we lost focus of the "issue" because all he could think about was the fact that he was just spanked. Sticker charts work very well - they can visualize what they are loosing and really learn and understand consequences for bad behavior.

    Will I spank Drew again, probably - but I really try to keep my "self-control" as I am the parent and it is very important that I am his example...

    Just my two cents:)